“Ok kids, we will be moving at the end of the school year to Waukegan, Illinois”. “ Oh no, not again,” was my immediate silent response to this piece of news. I was in the sixth grade, had finally made some friends, had some kids to hang around with, regular kids, and not Navy brats like me. On the other hand, I realized I wasn’t so thrilled with one of the teachers I was going to have the following year – now, I wasn’t going to have to deal with her!
At the end of the year we did move to Illinois. It was a long way from our California days. In the 13 years as the child of a career serviceman, we had always lived in California, up and down the coast. Cold weather, and subdivision exposure were an adjustment. For the first time, I had a room of my own, and a dad who came home every evening – We were the typical American family: a 9 to 5 dad, a stay at home mom, and non-base housing. I entered a brand new middle school that fall, made new friends, joined a Girls Club, and attended church every Sunday. California was far away, and I was doing just fine.
The citizens of St.Louis where I now reside are known for asking a specific question of new acquaintances, “Where did you go to high school?” My response always brings a surprised, incredulous look to most faces, “I went to high school on Guam;“ I have yet to meet anyone who went to the same high school as I did! And, I have never attended any high school reunions. For some people this is a sad thing. The fact that I don’t have the experience of returning to ten or twenty year high school reunion to see which losers are now successful, which cheerleader has now gone literally “to pot”, and what geeky guy or unattractive girl are now handsome and gorgeous. No, I have no high school reunions in my life, but I do have many memories of places, people who brought diversity into my life, and my ability to acclimate to new situations. I believe these personal qualities evolved from being a child of the 20-year Navy man.
I believe having lived a childhood as a military kid has fostered a number of positives. I believe these positives outweigh the frequent moves, leaving friends, family, transferring to new schools, living in new neighborhoods, missing holidays with relatives. All this being said, these positives happen when the nuclear family is secure, supportive, and loving. A child who has all these qualities in their home life, can acclimate to all changes resulting from a military life style.
Setting up family traditions significant to the immediate family is an important way of bonding the family. Even more important for children whose parents may be deployed is to make the most of those times when all family members are together. Utilize this time to take some interesting field trips, to do an activity together, find a project to build or create, choose a new item for the house together, play together, create memories. The most important people in a child’s growing up years are family. A parent who is physically away can continue to be in touch. It is an emotionally detached mom or dad that creates a troubled child, and that parent could be ten minutes away. Remember, it is the quality of time not the quantity that makes the difference in our children’s lives.
My childhood was one of frequent moves, and sometimes it was really tough to leave my friends. I made new friends, and I developed an ability to be comfortable in new situations, to interact with a diversity of people, to have the experience of new environments. The combination of each of these changes can be challenging, but can also foster in a child the ability to be flexible, to cope with change, and to appreciate being different from the classmate or neighbor who has always lived in the same house, played with the same children, gone to the same schools. Our world is a global one, and kids growing up in service environments have the edge on “being global”.
I Was the brat and birdbrain but liked it.I like4d Guam but went to school later in Calif. and Mo. moved not from service but from unsettled Dad.I liked the idea of seeing things and being around people.I loved Guam I thought people were happier there.I was young and didn't have problems or bullies.
ReplyDeleteSheila