Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The Challenges Of Half-Japanese Children Living In Japan

As a person with parents from two different European countries with two distinct cultures, I don’t feel unqualified to discuss the feelings that overcome multi-ethnic children and their families at times. Being “half” anything means that you do not belong anywhere completely, and that you can feel like a foreigner in what is also your own country. Growing up with dual nationality and grandmothers that could not speak each other's languages was strange and challenging at times, and admittedly cool on other occasions.

But being multicultural within two European countries is nothing like being half-Japanese, half-American and living in Japan, as my university roommate has been finding out. My friend and her Japanese American husband have been living in Tokyo for the last two years, after he was offered an exciting career opportunity that he could not refuse. They have two gorgeous kids, who were happy and out-going when they got on the plane to Japan. They were thrilled to live in the country their grandparents came from, and started attending a Japanese school.

For anyone with internet access, it is pretty hard to avoid hearing about the high suicide rates among Japanese young people, the huge pressure to achieve academically, and the long hours in schools. When my friend and her husband started trying for their first baby, they thought about things like using an ovulation calendar, looking out for pregnancy signs and symptoms, and the impact of having small children on their careers. What was not on their radar was the problems Japanese kids face in school, or the bullying and outright rejection of children who are, according to their peers, not really Japanese. Why should they have thought about this? They weren’t planning on living in Japan!

Fast forward to now, and my friends beautiful kids have been called “dirty foreigners” by what they thought was their own cultural group, and told that they should not be writing their name in Japanese, because they are not of true blood. When my friend and her kids approached the school’s principal, they were told not to be “pathetic and weak”, to put up with the bullying and rejection, and that school is fun. The oldest boy, who is eight, has become depressed, has totally rejected his Japanese heritage, and spends his free time listening to Radiohead – suicidal music if there ever was any!

Thankfully, this family is going to be moving back to the United States in the near future. Many other kids are not so lucky to have a similar opportunity. My friend’s nightly tearful calls about her son being beaten up in school yet again, or having his belongings thrown in the bin, and the school’s unwillingness to do anything about it have made me realize one thing, though. Being multicultural can be tough. I’m grateful that my own children do not have to face the bullying and racism hers do, but I am also heartbroken for my friend’s kids who have essentially been stripped of their heritage by the two years they spent in what they thought was their own country.

Bio: 
Tania Tod
At Trying to Conceive they are passionate about all topics related to the female body, how to get pregnant, pregnancy, and birth. A new boost to their website is personalized and Free Ovulation Calendar.


4 comments:

  1. Wow! I am amazed that the Japanese culture allows this. I was glad to read that they will be moving back. Hopefully they will feel safer and will be able to repair what has happened.
    Give your friend a big hug from me...

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  2. This is hard to hear. I am so sorry. It's interesting that Japanese adults seem to love foreigners but the children are such bullies towards them. My kids are half Japanese... I guess we won't be living in Japan :)

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