Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Can't Do It Anymore
Do you ever feel as a mom that you just can't do it anymore? God, I feel like the world's worst mom for even thinking that, but it is honest. I am tired and worn out and at my wits end. I have a very rambunctious energetic 2 year old (almost 3), and an attention hog clingy almost one year old. They drive me nuts. I feel like all I do lately is yell at them, and I hate that! Then of course one of them will do something and it is a moment of yeah, this is what it is all about. It is good right in that moment. Perfect. But then things get chaotic again. Maybe I need more grown up time, more time out, away, instead of being trapped in the apartment 24 hours a day with the kids. But it is just not possible these days. And then I think, well we all need to get out of the house, to go do something, and then we do, and it is such an ordeal, and Callan is such a naughty little boy, and Mason cries and cries, and I lose it. It is not worth it to make the effort. God, am I just the world's worst mother? Why is this so hard for me?
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It isn't an uncommon emotion so you aren't the world's worst mom or a bad person. Being a mother of small children can be very overwhelming. The thing is, what you know and I know deep in our heart is that we WON'T EVER give up. We can fuss at our kids, rage at our husbands, cry in the shower (if you even manage to find time to take a shower)... but tomorrow we will get out of bed and fix breakfast for the kids and THEN post a picture of the sweetest little messy face ever :) Cut yourself some slack - you are human with very human levels of frustration and stress. But everyday, you are DOING it - you ARE Mommy!
ReplyDeleteSaying a prayer for you today!